Sad Day

Today when I pulled into our building's parking lot after taking the kids to guitar, I noticed that there were tons of people on the street next to our building.  I had no idea what was going on and certainly wasn't confident enough to enter the crowd and try to figure it out.

As we entered our building, the first floor neighbor's door was open.  I asked her what was happening, and she told me that the woman across the street, who had been battling breast cancer, had been sent home from the hospital.  The doctors had given up hope.

I couldn't believe my ears!  This neighbor and I were casual friends.  She had been up to my place and I had been to her's, too.  She had been ill for about a year and a half.  And had 2 different surgeries.  But I thought that she was doing ok.  So, I didn't trust that I understood correctly.

We came up to our apartment and immediately went out on the balcony to see what was going on.  When we spotted our across the hall neighbor coming in from the crowd, we went to wait for her at our door.

As she got out of the elevator, another neighbor also came up to ask what was going on.  Sure enough, the doctors had sent her home to die.  But, she needed oxygen, which the public health system doesn't provide.  So, the ambulance had been sitting at the top of our hill for over an hour while the family went to purchase an oxygen tank.

It turns out that she had been doing well, but took a turn for the worse during Ramadan.  Since no one is really out, the news had not really spread that she was so ill.  This news was such a shock to me!

Once they got her in her building the crowd dispersed a bit.  But there were still about 15 people (probably family) just sort of hanging around outside on the building stoop.  I am sure there were at least that many people inside, too.

I just sort of kept watch all afternoon.

Then about 7:30 someone motioned out the window for the people to hurry inside.  About a minute later I heard screaming and weeping.  Of course, I knew that she had passed away.  In a matter of minutes people were pouring into the flat from all directions.  I realized how stoically we Americans grieve, because these people were weeping and wailing.  It was so sad, but a bit startling as well.  Several people fainted throughout the evening.  The older son just sat on the stoop for about 30 minutes screaming until he eventually passed out.

It was pretty intense!

I felt this strong urge to go down and help, or do something.  But, really, there was absolutely nothing I could do.  So I just sat and watched all evening long.  I talked with several different neighbors, and they all said slightly different things about how the arrangements would be handled.  But everyone agreed that she would be buried quickly.  It is custom here to bury people as quickly as possible.  I don't know if that is a religious custom or just practical.

They came around 10 o'clock to take the body.  I heard that tomorrow they will have a quick service at our mosque and then the men will go to the cemetery to bury her.  I am just watching and praying.  I don't know what to do other than that.  Will you join me in praying for this family?  She left 3 children behind- Çiğdem age 20, Hüssein age 18, and Mehmet age 9.