Lonely

I have more adorable pictures of Miss Luly-Belle but they will have to wait a bit. I have a cold and even worse I feel cruddy. Not just sick, more like sorry for myself or lonely.

When I went to school to drop off the kids, I looked out over all of those people and thought, "not one of them knows me. Like, really knows me." They recognize me as the foreign lady, or the lady with all the kids, or the lady who smiles at them. But I bet not one of them even knows my name.

We pay a monthly fee to our building manager to cover things like having the hall cleaned, electricity, maintenance, etc. On our receipt it said Amerikalı Komşu (American Neighbor) where the name should be. How can they not know our names?!?! We have lived here for 5 months. When Justin went to pay the fee she said that she had wanted to ask him something but couldn't because he did not speak the language. Again, WHAT?!?!? He was standing there talking to her. We have had several conversations with them, even shared a meal with all of our neighbors during Ramadan. Why are people so stand off-ish with us? Why won't they give us a chance?

I want friends! I want to be around people who get me, and I get them. When I make a joke I want people to know its a joke and not a foreigner mistake that needs to be corrected! Will I ever be normal? Will I ever have friends that feel like home?

The rainy season has started and walking the kids to school in the rain hasn't helped my morale either. UGH!!! I need God's perspective on things!!!