Lying

One of the questions people asked us a lot while we were in the States was what makes living here difficult. One of the hardest things about living here is that is seems to be perfectly fine to lie. Everyone does it- those who claim utmost piety right down to those who don't know any better.

It is really hard to teach the kids not to lie (and keep ourselves honest) when they are surrounded by it. Here are some examples:

Callie's teacher told the class that they put rat's blood in cola. He was trying to convince the kids not to drink things that are not good for them. But there is a better way.

Our friend is the head of the Islamic Studies department at a local university. He and his family are very committed followers of Islam. We used to live very close to each other but our boys went to different schools. Early on we asked them how their son got into the good school. They told us how to get a fake rental contract to get our kids into whichever school we desire.

Our friend Murat always tells Lucy that if she'll come give him a kiss on the cheek (normal behavior here) he will give her a sugar cube. He never gives her the sugar.

Yesterday, Noah was playing and accidently hit our neighbor's car with a stick. It made a mark. A few ladies from our building saw the incident and told Noah that the owner was coming and he should run and hide.

He came upstairs worried. He told me what happened. I took him down to show him how to handle the situation.

First we asked the ladies where the owner was (that they said was coming). Turns out- no surprise- they were lying! They asked how I found out what happened, talking about Noah denting the car. I said that he told me about it and we want to make things right. This is how we believe that God wants us to treat others.

So, I asked them who the real owner was. They told me, but emphasized over and over that it was no big deal and I shouldn't say anything. Because shame and honor are the biggest guides to personal conduct here, I said that harming someone else or their property and not taking responsibility for it would not honor my name or God's name. They were shocked at my stance.

Then I took Noah up to our neighbors house and explained what happened and apologized. I offered to show her (or more likely have my husband show her husband) the damage and pay for it. She was very gracious and did not want any part of my offer. It really wasn't a big deal. But for all of us, Noah, the neighbor ladies, and myself it was a lesson in honesty.

Some of the examples that I've used may not seem like any big deal. But, as a person who, quite honestly (no pun intended), has struggled with lying, I can tell you that integrity is built by one tiny truth at a time!

I think that this post also answers another common question that we got while in the States. People often asked us how do we share our faith since we cannot hold any type of formal Bible studies or anything of that sort. Well, the story about the car is an example of how we do it. We just live out our faith. And frankly, although we are in a land of very religious people, our behavior stands out.

This is NOT to say that we are special or perfect in any way. Far from it!! It is just to say that the Lord uses even tiny actions to highlight Himself. We pray that the things we do here bring him glory.