Remembering

Two years ago today I swallowed my tears, tried to stop the "ugly cry" in the middle of the airport, gave my Mom one last hug and got on a plane. We had no idea what to expect or what this journey would entail, but we were pumped and ready! We knew that the Lord had called us to this and even if it contained a lot of unknowns, God's best is better than anything I can imagine!

Two years ago today I tasted my last bit of America, spoke to my niece face to face for the last time, and had clothes that were put in a clothes dryer. We got on that plane full of sadness, but a little bit more full of excitement and adrenaline. We had no idea how long and short two years could feel!

Two years ago today our kids said goodbye to the only life they had known- their stuff, their friends, their language, and un-fazedly boarded the plane. For them this was just a new adventure. They had no idea how permanent feels.

Two years ago today I had to pare down almost everything I own so it could fit into a few suitcases and then watch and hope the I would see those suitcases again on the other side. I wish I had brought more shoes. They do not make my size in this country!

Two years ago today we tangibly trusted God in a way that we have never done before. It hurt and it was exciting. We sold everything. Actually, we practically gave it all away, so there was nothing to come back to, and no money to replace it. This place had to become home.

Two years ago today I could not image how hard this transition would be. We were all bright eyed and bushy tailed- full of hope and blinded by naivity. We knew two words of our new language: "hello" and "horse." You cannot get very far with that!

Two years ago today I couldn't stop dreaming of all the possibilities, but now, I must confess, I wonder if there are any sometimes. I know that God has not forsaken this place, but sometimes it sure does feel that way. The people here are so stuck in religion, that they don't have a minute to consider God, let alone allow their faith to speak to their hearts.

Two years ago today we showed up in this country ready to make a difference- to serve the poor, to be a positive influence in our community, and to share Jesus for any who asked. Lately I wonder if we have made a difference at all. A few more kids have gotten the opportunity to be educated, a few more families have been warm in the winter, a few more people have heard that God really does love them and deeply desires to know them, and hopefully everyone that we have come into contact with has learned that Americans are not at all like what they thought they were like. But is it enough? The task at hand is gigantic!

Two years ago today I could never have anticipated how much I would need God to show up in my life.

Two years ago today I could never have dreamed of how He really would show up and how He would carry me when it was all too much. He began the process of teaching me what I thought I already knew. He has shown me that it REALLY IS ALL ABOUT HIM. This is His story, and His country, and His people. And it is a privlidge to be His ambassador here. (Sometimes I forget that part.)

Two years ago today I couldn't fathom how I could love people who were so different than me. How I could learn to do things like they do, eat like they eat, talk like they talk, and enjoy it. I couldn't imagine the way that God would transform my heart of stone to His heart of compassion and love.

Two years ago today I thought that this would be easy and fun because it is what I was made to do. But now I've learned that some of the greatest callings are neither easy nor fun, but they are undeniabily better than all I could ask or hope for!

We have been in this country exactly two years and I have never loved or needed Jesus more!


Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:

The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

Psalm 103 1-8